Faces of Outlet
Outlet youth tell us how it is to have a queer family.
Anna Livia's speech
Written for the Queer Families in the Penninsula Event on February 5, 2011
Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto
Pictured: Anna Livia and her mothers Elizabeth and Kathleen |
"For all the kids in the audience who have queerparents: I know what you’re going through. You yourselfaren’t gay, buteverytime the subject comes up, you get nervous and uncomfortable and don’t really know how to handle it.
You never know who knows and who doesn’t know about the rainbow in your family. And every time an image of the “perfect family” comes up in a movie, photograph, or TV show, you feel painfully isolated, estranged and different. |
And believe me, I know these parts of having queer parents just suck. And really, you can choose to handle it however you want. Throw a fit, sulk in your room, demand that your parents buy you a Wii….
There are just two things you cannot do: apologize for who you are, or apologize for who your family is.
You guys may be different, but that does not make any of you wrong. You are a beautiful person, and a beautiful family—even if you don’t match the image of the “beautiful family” on the movie posters. By being in a family that is so different, you gain a certain type of love, compassion, and understanding that other people your age just don’t have. You’re more adaptable, and rather than seeing institutes like family, marriage, and affection in a one-size-fits-all way, you become more accepting of all expressions of such. You are unique in the best possible way by growing up “differently.”
I myself have two moms, and I myself am also gay. But before I even realized that I was, I was well immersed in civil rights. I wrote an essay about this gay rights activist, Harvey Milk, in 4th grade, and by 8th grade I was a gay rights activist myself, organizing a protest at my school against a law that took away our parents’ right to marry each other. Growing up with queer parents was and still is crucial to how I’ve developed as a person, not just with my political activism within and outside of the LGBTQ community, but also in how I see the world, how I’ve built friendships because of the care and concern I’ve gained from my unusual family arrangement.
You will go through your struggles, and you life isn’t going to exactly mirror mine. But I promise you this: being raised in an unconventional household is not bad; it is not a disadvantage. You grow understanding and compassion by being different. And the world could always use a little more compassion. You are a gift to this planet.
Don’t apologize, don’t back down. |
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